RAPE - "Mahabahrata of the Mindset"

After watching the recent documentary by the BBC on the Nirbhaya case and reading a lot of comments from various intellects, I felt the need to put my point of view forward as well. I believe it’s high time we do something about it and here is my bit.

                Before we go into the “what’s and what not’s” and “Who’s and Who’s not’s” about the issue, let me just give a statutory warning. These are my opinion and in case it hurts your sentiments, then “Tough Luck”, however it was not intentional but in case you end up reading the whole thing, pause for a moment and think.

                RAPE as an epidemic is not something that is concerning the developing nations alone. It seems to be a word wide problem; across borders and even genders. The world numbers for rape are so high that it is worthy of being called an epidemic. There are enough studies available that talk about how and why they occur. But that is not something that I shall be discussing here. Nor am I planning to talk about what or what not the documentary says. This is what I felt once I watched the documentary expressed in words to the best of my abilities.

                Like any deadly disease, the best way to treat it is to treat the symptom as well as its core cause at the same time. Treating the symptom alone will not suffice. Apprehending the rapists and having fast track courts to dispose of the case quickly is definitely the correct way forward but that is only treating the symptom. We also need to parallelly tackle the core issue of why these rapes happen. The rapists in the Nirbhaya case or any other case are a consequence of the system. Eliminating one will only let the system produce another one and so on. Thus the disease would still prevail. But the documentary did show the world a glimpse of the core issue namely the “Mahabharata of the Mindset”. This is not only about the case on the documentary but about all the thousands that get reported and the millions that go unreported.

                We have the 5 values namely – Equality, Respect, Love, Freedom and Acceptance fighting an eternal battle with over a hundred foes that try to suppress them. The Judiciary and Legislature are like Dhridharashtra and Bhishma, aware yet bound by the fetters of the society that they serve.  We are all awaiting a Krishna to rise and save the day for us. It’s about time we realized that we are the Krishna that needs to raise and save the day.

                The most shocking realization that I had was when I heard the commentary of the defense lawyers and the accused rapist. It was not what they said that shocked me but rather the fact that I expected it out of them. It came as no surprise to me that they said what they said. I keep re-iterating this point because it made me realize that we are already aware of the problem. I like any typical Indian chose not act on it since it does not directly affect me.

                The government will do whatever it needs to do get this sorted, so there is no point us brooding and complaining about it. We need to see what we can do to cure this cancer in the system that keeps on churning people with such antisocial tendencies. Here is what I think we could do (a small but a significant part).

Step 1 -  Get out of denial mode – We have long regarded this as “Not my problem”. Well the fact is if we don’t do anything about it now, very soon this will become our problem. So let’s first all of us recognize that this is “OUR PROBLEM” and we need to solve it.

Step 2 – Spread Awareness (Talk about it) – The more taboo the topic, the easier it is for the culprits to get away. Be it seminars or coffee table conversations. We need to talk about rape openly. The more openly we talk about it the more awareness we spread. This will help more people be comfortable around the topic and eventually lead to more people reporting such instances. The one thing that the whole Nirbhaya episode brought to the forefront is the fact that the people are no longer shying away from talking about rape. In a conservative country like India that is a very very big step. A country that is still shy to talk about “sex” in the open now needs to start talking about “rape” that is how big the challenge is. Hence I request all of you people reading this to please talk, blog and comment about it in as many places as you can so that this does not remain a taboo topic.

Step 3 – Raise your voice (Literally) – I have seen a couple of my very highly educated friends scream their lungs out when they get a glimpse of Salman or Shah Rukh Khan. Well we need to use the same scream as a deterrent. It needs to be used anytime and everywhere possible when you see something is not right. Either you are at the receiving end of something unpleasant or you see someone else at the receiving end.  Just “Yell out Loud”. Nothing deters a molester or a rapist more than a loud scream. This would take a lot of guts and practice but it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Sometimes in a crowded bus the push or touch might not be intentional but scream none the less. A gentleman would apologies and everyone else will get the message loud and clear.

It is important to learn the lesson from this episode but it is more important to learn the right lesson.

Let’s not make this into a Man Vs Women battle to decide who should do what but instead let’s make it a battle between (Man and Women) together Vs the Mindset.

You can either do your part or still be in denial mode and keep blaming the government and system for what is happening. The choice as always is – Yours..!!!

Once again Wishing all the Lovely ladies a very very Happy Women’s day for today and for every day for the rest of the Year…!!!

THE LOST GENERATION

I am the part of a lost generation

I refuse to believe that,

I can change the world

I realize this may be a shock but

"Happiness comes from within"

is a lie, and

"Money will make me happy"

So in 30 Years I will tell my Children

they are not the most important thing in my life.

My employer will know that

I have my priorities straight because

work

is more important than

family

I tell you this

Once Upon a time

Families stayed together

but this will not be true in my era

this is a quick fix society

Experts tell me

30 years from now i will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce

I do not concede that

I will live in a country of my own making

In the future

Environmental destruction will be the norm

No longer can it be said that

My peers and I care about this earth

It will be evident that

My generation is apathatic and lethargic

It is foolish to presume that

There is HOPE...

And all this will come true unless we choose to reverse it... ( read it from bottom to top now) !!!


We have to decide should we be the LOST GENERATION ???

My Answer is "NO" there is still time and hope...!!!! reverse the destruction..save the planet..!!

The Lost Symbol –

The only ‘thing /one’ that seems to be lost in the novel is the ‘unfortunate reader’. Despite the hype that surrounded its release, the book could hardly be called a best seller as far literature is concerned. It seems that the Author is trying to carve a niche for himself in the good books of the Vatican after his first novel very clearly earned its wrath. ‘Spirituality and Suspense’ is a tough combination to put together for a masterpiece. It has been tried in the past as well but Dan Brown in the latest book misses the bulls-eye by 3000 miles and 2 centuries (in his own words).

Being a Dan Brown book and with Robert Langdon as its protagonist, it does validate the hype with regards to academic potential and raw volume of facts presented to the user. With a detailed description of the architecture of Washington D.C and its connection to Rome, the current developments in ‘Neotic Science’ where harnessing the minds infinite potential is the supreme objective, the secret society of Masons and Smithsons, their illustrious legacies and symbolic yet shocking initiation rituals and the frequent reference to various religious texts from various parts of the world are quite the read. It would be unfair to say that the author did not do a complete research on his subject. The detailed descriptions of the various aspects mentioned above are mind boggling.

What the Author missed is on the plot. There is the ultra modern and highly sophisticated unit of the CIA investigating a ‘national emergency’ and yet at various places one can find their behavior more childish than amateurish. CIA seems to have the technology to have an EMP gun mounted on a helicopter yet not the presence of mind to triangulate a simple phone call. One of the most influential persons in the world did not get a postmortem or a DNA test done on the dead and mutilated body of a person whom the prison authorities in Turkey claimed to be his son. This list of goof ups in the plot is endless.

If one has read the Author before then it can be seen that there is not much difference in the narration style with sudden last moment revelations of various obviously ‘staring at your face but you dint notice’ kind of facts. As is with most of his books there are a lot of puzzles involved most of them pertaining to symbols and its history and its relevance to the Human history.

Be that as it may, what separates this book from the rest of Dan Brown’s work is that the centralized theme here is the ‘power of human mind’. There are discussion in depth about the so called “wisdom of the ancient mysteries” which deals basically with spirituality and its implication in the day to day world and about people who knew about the importance of Spiritual Intelligence and its awesome constructive as well as its destructive powers. Most of this spiritual learning, in this case is based on the “Bible”; though there are reference to other religious texts as well. It does seem like a futile effort on the part of the Author to glorify the spiritual side of the “Bible’.

The ending is quite unlike Dan Brown. The book has around 115 chapters and the major plot (the plot to rescue the world from total chaos) ends by the 111th chapter. The remaining 4 Chapters which consume around 50 pages are like an epilogue which, to the user might initially seem like a treasure hunt but as it progresses; one can find the treasure does not actually exist, there is just the illusion of its presence. One almost feels like reading a Spiritual text and not a Suspense Thriller.

To summarize, the book is like the quest for ‘wisdom’ for the uninitiated; a maze where every corner promises to reveal a great mystery but instead reveals the location to another magical corner and the seeker is lost in this never ending maze. As for those who have actually acquired it (wisdom) this book is no “Armageddon”.

India and the Champions Trophy –

“In India cricket is not just a sport, it’s a religion”. This is a statement that one can come across numerous times in various blogs and newspaper articles. It seems that the very people who are supposed to uphold the pillars of this religion and lift them to the sky are the one’s digging its grave. The high priest of this religion aka – The Indian Cricket Team, a squad of elite few who are chosen from a crowd of millions to carry on the light of this religion to the future seem to be faltering in their journey. It was quite obviously a marketing decision to put arch rivals India and Pakistan in the same group and if that wasn’t enough, India’s opening match of the tournament was also against them.

Winning or Losing has always been part and parcel of any sport. What matters most is the attitude of the sides playing. India were the hot favorites as they were ranked ‘1’ in the ICC cricket ranking (surprisingly..!!). That’s the thing with the ICT, when they start as hero’s they have this unique knack of making a fool of themselves and it has been proved time and again. This time was no different. The beauty of this game is that even-though it takes a total 100 overs to complete a match, however sometimes one can decide the outcome even before a single ball is bowled, i.e, at the toss. Whatever may be the cause, the team lost and with the last match being washed off due to rain the chances of India reaching the Semi’s are not only difficult but rather impossible(true Bollywood style).

The attitude is the most important part of any team, winning or losing regardless. One of the reasons that the ICT could make to the top if the ICC table of rankings was also due to their fearless attitude. However they seem to be loosing it. The excuses given by the captain for the defeat were poor even by previous ICT’s standards. He should have been bold enough to confess that they played real poor cricket and let the country down. Had they focused more on the game than on scoring game on television, the result might have been different. This confession at-least would have helped them score some points with the public of the country for admitting their failure and taking responsibility for it. Instead he made a mockery of himself by saying “I did not know so many runs could be scored at the backward point region (priceless..!!!).” Or “We were three bowlers short (yes as most of the teams these days play 8 bowlers and the team consists of 14 players.)”. It was sad that they lost but what was worse was the attitude towards the defeat. May be the team should be shown video’s of their previous exploits where they had played like true champions and probably that might help them see the light. Whatever be the course of action if the team does not get their attitude back on track, they downfall is eminent.

“Almost Single”….A Review!!

For those of you who like “sex and the city” and were wondering if an Indian version of it would ever be available, there is good news. “Almost Single” comes pretty close to the Indian version of it. If I could summarize the book in one sentence it would be “Sex and the Indian City with a happy ending”. There is a lot less of ‘sex’ but pretty much the same amount of melodrama and bitching as the original American version.

The protagonist in this case happens to be from the “Hospitality Industry” The story revolves around three single women in their late twenties or early thirties living in the big bad city all by them-selves. Though they have a traditional upbringing; all of them broke free of the regional fetters in the search of a life which they would lead on their own terms. The ‘single and ready to mingle’ status of their personal life also brings them to lock horns with their traditional belief system and the modern lifestyle they seem to have so naturally adapted to. Another important and very widely know fact that this book underlines (especially for men) is that women are “complicated” so trying to decipher them is not only difficult but rather ‘impossible’. Most of the times even women find it difficult understand each other, what chance could a Man have then.

As the story unfolds; there are many instances that the reader might find that the character’s are in a state of moral or ethical dilemma. Their intellect; being the source of their pride and ego tells them to act in self interest while their heart, the seat of their emotional intelligence tells them to act in self less interest. Thus we have a series of events where there is an identity crisis between the Modern day working corporate woman and the traditional home-making women as both these personalities are manifested in the characters.

The language used very simple and straight forward and the use of humor with a slight touch of sarcasm is also refreshing. There are some lines that were really worth the read such as – “These days when women say the word ‘dil-do’ the certainly aren’t taking in ‘Hindi’ and most definitely not talking about the ‘heart’” or “ There comes a time in a women’s life where she has to go from searching for Mr. Right to going for Mr. Right Now.”…..etc. It also highlights the viewpoints of the present day youth with regards to life, love and marriage where ‘sexual compatibility’ with a probable husband is as important as their ‘horoscope compatibility’. There are some instances in the narration where the author has gone a little over board with a situation and made it look like a scene out of a ‘Bollywood flick’ but then keeping in mind the target audience its not that atrocious. There is also a highlight on the difference between the western dating system and the Indian system of arranged marriage with pros and cons discussed in depth with examples for both. The icing in the cake here is that the book has a Happy Ending or at least the reader is made to believe so and that adds a feel good factor to the book. To summarize, not a bad read especially if you want to catch up with the gossip and lingo of the cosmopolitan India.

The Day that Wasn’t ..!!

Now that I have successfully accepted the fact that my undergraduate degree for which I had slogged for 4 years (not necessarily studying but there sure was a lot of slogging) is not enough anymore for either the personal or the professional market, I have finally decided to do something about it. The recent recession that has taken the worlds financial markets along with it for a ride has indeed created a creator in our lives and consequently also raised the bar for employability. Hence eventually after a lot of debate, (mostly with my mom, though she wants me to do the MBA for a totally diff reason) I have finally decided to give the GMAT.

Its quite an irony to see that while the recessions was at its peak with salary cuts and no perks all lined up to make the life of everyone miserable the so called ‘working class’ that is ‘us’ managed to attend office more regularly than usual. As we near the end of the financial year people are worried about the lapse of the leaves that they so willing did not take. This has led to the so called ‘ I am not well and wont be coming to the office today’ syndrome though in reality the only thing that is not well is the leave planning ability of such people which so very obviously includes me. Thus to conclude I took a day off yesterday for no apparent reason except for all the outgoing calls from my other end were free and frequent(if u know what I am talking abt) but that’s hardly a reason for a leave.

I tried to invest my free time for my career as I decided to check out the various GMAT coaching centers, the course material and of course do my laundry as well. A skill that is of utmost important for GMAT is the ability to write a good essay. Not just write whatever comes to your mind, but to write it in such a way that the frustrated reader also gets a piece of your mind. The worst part is that there is a word limit, and I do believe that is fair as well. You can’t expect the reader not to have a life, though most of them don’t but then you cant be sure. So I start with this lame attempt to write the events of the day into a structurally well crafted blog so that with time I improve in writing and am able to write a decent SOP if required. The tone of this blog might seem very pessimistic but that’s the effect the office and a really crappy manager might have on you. I promise to improve in the future blogs.

Taking time off just for the sake of it is a relatively new concept. However in a very short duration of its arrival it has accumulated quite a following. The only sad part is that if you are single and are into the habit of reading; such a time off might end up fueling your melancholy and thus driving you into further frustration; so always make sure there is something or someone to keep you company.

The highlight of the day for me yesterday however was the class I had at the end of the day (and of course the traffic jam I was in, on the way). Finally we have started on the “Samba” my favorite amongst the latin dances. I was quite happy to begin with as my moves were quite appreciated by my fellow dancers but very soon I saw my pride take big tumbling when My Teacher reprimanded me for some audacious moves that I was doing thinking it would be cool. Be that as it may the class was pretty cool and the coffee after the class was also ok. I need to open up more to the people in the school. Its hard sometimes to change your habits so quickly but for me now it’s a necessity and that ladies and gentlemen is the grandmother of invention. Lets Hope things turn up for the better tomorrow. All fingers crossed.

Twitter – the Public Private life of people…

Tooter and some of my misinformed friends call it this day has turned out to be a major global phenomenon. Initially I joined in to see what the fuss was all about, now that I am almost addicted to it, I still cant figure it out. Whats the fun in micro-bloging anyway. There is only so much that one can convey and more often than not its either WTF or a proverb copied from some website ( usually the first one u get on Google search). Be that as it way people flock to it like mosquitoes to sewage. May be its that people are getting a platform to vent out their frustration and hence come to know abt ppl who are even more frustrated then derive a sadistic pleasure out of it or may be it’s the sense of excitement that comes in making ur very private life public or reading abt somebody else’s private life and in the process satisfying the voyeur in you. In either case I don’t see any positive outcome from it. I still prefer the good-ol blogging culture where for writing one you really have to sit down storm your brain and then find words to match ur emotions and then pen it down. May be I am sounding too damn negative but that’s probably because of the cold from the previous blog hasn’t felt me but I have resolved to break the silence though.