A TRIBUTE....to a friend and companion...

Adi was just 40 days old when we first brought him to our house. A small velvety doll; he was. He was the 1st of 36 pups born in a kennel in Coimbatore and hence his name Adil. He was also the 1st and the most loved pet I have had so far. He was a pure bred Labrador Retriever and came with a long list of pedigree. Dark black in colour; the 1st look at him will make u fall in love with him. That was what it was for all of us – love at the very first sight. I still remember the day we got him to our house. It was almost night by the time we reached home. He was sleeping in my lap all the while. As soon as we reached home, I placed him on the sofa so that all could get a look at him and the 1st thing he did was to pee on the sofa. That was 9 yrs ago but seems just like yesterday.

Life could not have been the same without him, I am sure. We all had our moments with him. He grew up with us and gave us numerous memories along the way. Be it happy-time or sad-time he was always there for all of us, to cheer us and to bring back the smile in us. The most eventful were the years when he was growing up. How he used to stand near the door and squeal so that we let him out to pee. How after doing something naughty we ran and hid under the bed. How we used to chase cats inside the house. How he wud get scared when it thundered or during diwali when we burst crackers. How he hid himself when we knew that the vet was coming. The long evening walks we used to take. The times when he ran away from the house when we left the gate open, and then my chasing him around trying to catch him. The barking competition he used to have with the road side dogs at night are all still afresh in our memories.

We never quite realized when from the cute and cuddly puppy he grew up to be a strong and handsome dog. I still remember taking him to the various shows and winning various prizes. And then finally he settled down as a regular house pet. He was a baby hand-raised by all of us. He had and amazing personality and very short temper. He would get upset at the slightest of things and then u will have to sit with him and feed him directly with ur hands else he wont eat. The worst times were the monsoon when the thunder showers would send jitters through his body and he would rush into the house and hide under the bed. He was also an expert Gardner. He had a knack of rearranging the garden every now and then, so had to finally give up on having a garden. I cannot remember a time without him. The house was always buzzing with energy when he was around.

The last few years were really strained between us. I saw him only once or twice a year when I went home for holidays. No matter how little time I had during my vacations I always made it a point to spend at least 2 days with him. Lately my parents moved out of the house as well to stay elsewhere and Adi was left back alone in the house. Many a times I felt really sorry for him and my inability to do anything for him. Gradually he became lonely and sad and finally on the 30th of October 2008 (yesterday), he passed away. His demise has left a void in our hearts. He was the glue that held us together and now he is no more. I do not even feel like going back to the house where he is not there anymore. May be God saw what a wonderful pet he was and took him as his pet……may your Soul Rest In Peace Adi…….u will always remain alive in our hearts till the day we join u…….

SALSA n CCD

What will you rather prefer? A date with someone special, in a quiet place with lots to eat, drink and gossip or An evening with a special friend where you end up doing something totally crazy in front of strangers just for the heck of it. I would most definitely choose the latter as it has more fun, adventure and is more childish. What made me ponder on this question was an incident that happened to me this week end and this is how it goes……

It was a rather cloudy Saturday evening and I was relaxing on my favorite bean bag with a cup-o-coffee. A dear friend of mine calls me up and tells me that she is sitting at CCD for some official work and if I wanted to, I could join her for a cup-o-coffee. Its bit hard to put in words the personality of this friend of mine, but I shall try my best. Her actual name means a ‘shining jewel ‘(to some extent it quantifies her as well) we call her “now” (that’s her nick name). She thinks it’s difficult to decipher her (quite contrary to reality but I prefer her to be like that) and coming to the matter of looks, she thinks she is ‘pretty presentable’ (I don’t have anymore comments on that ;-)). Oh ya and both of us are totally crazy about music and dance..

We were sitting on the first floor of CCD, talking when it happened. In the jukebox they played the song from the latest bollywood flick……” Kabhi Kabhi Aditi zindagi mein youn hi koi apna lagta hai……..” I was dancing in my mind and am pretty sure she was too. I looked into her eyes and at that instant knew she wanted to dance. There was a little bit of space behind the table we were sitting. It took me sometime to convince her to dance here but as fate might have it by the time she agreed….the song ended…. God has this habit of teasing us and that’s what I love abt him.

Anyways after a couple of minutes I went to the counter and asked the waiter to play the same song again. To my delight he agreed. In a couple of minutes the song was on again. She did not expect this but am sure was happy that the song did come on again. Now I asked her for a dance and though hesitantly she agreed. As soon as we took to the floor all I could hear was her heart beat and all I could see were here eyes. Rest everything dissolved. Then we started dancing. We did it for some 30 sec and then went back to our seats. Fortunately no one paid much attention. Though relieved, I was a bit disappointed that no one noticed. But as I said God has a funny way of teasing his creation…..

After a couple of minutes, a waiter came to us said that they would like us to do the dance once again. This time though they made a formal announcement about the same. This time we danced till the song ended and we did get a shower of applause. What we did not know was that our whole performance was video- taped and photographed. As a token of love the ppl at CCD presented us with a photo-frame. But I had got more that what I had bargained for. From a lousy Saturday evening to a really memorable moment that was the gift I got.

Some times, as I said earlier God has a funny way of telling people that he cares. Its we, who fail to see the message. The most beautiful part of the whole experience was that it was spontaneous, nothing was planned and there were no expectations. So all I have to say is “ Go out do something crazy….and let God show u how much he cares…..Trust me You Wont be disappointed….” What say “Now” ( I can already see u smiling. Hope u cud have given the same smile for the pic we took)….

A Movie Misinterpreted......Dont u think...?

I was watching the movie “The Da Vinci Code” yesterday and something in that movie got me transfixed (if I might say so). Ironically it wasn’t the Holy Grail or the blood line of Jesus (I have seen the movie many times over in the past so that wasn’t a surprise.) I was trying to decide whom to side with. On one side we have Sir Robert Langdon, Sophie Neveu Saint-Clair (I hope I got the spelling right) and Sir Leigh Teabing, trying to unravel the secret of the Holy Grail to the world so that people do not live in the clouded realm of pseudo-spirituality that the church was trying to superimpose. And on the other hand were the Priory of Sion and the Church (Bishop Manuel Aringarosa) trying to protect the secret of the churches power on Earth.

The Comparison might seem quite contrary to the story line. As in the movie it is obvious that Robert Langdon and Leigh Teabing were definitely not on the same side and so is the case with the Priory and the Church. Be that as it may, there is a bigger cause that seems to bind and unwind these four and hence has been the reason behind my classification.
This cause is not very difficult to spot either. One group wanted to reveal this secret and the other wanted to conceal it.

The beauty in this reason is that, while the cause of one seems to be just but its consequences are devastating ,where as, the cause of the other cannot be justified but its consequences happen to be a necessity. Confused…??? Let me explain –

Revealing the secret to the world might seem to be the right thing to do, as the people deserve to know the truth behind their religion and the God they worship. On the other hand revealing this secret would send the world we know it today into chaos. If people come to know the divinity of their deity was a cover-up, it would devastate their faith and belief. And a man who has no belief has no hope and there is nothing more dangerous than a man without any hope. If one such person is so dangerous, imagine a whole nation of them (Christianity to this day still remains a religion with the maximum following).

Covering up the whole thing might not be a just way of doing things; but then, it shall help in maintaining the stability and entropy of the system. Wasn’t this the very reason that this lie was made up in the first place, so that people could stop fighting are unite under one banner namely – Christianity(The greatest good, is the good, for the greatest numbers).

It is believed that many have been murdered in order to protect this secret. But was it really worth the lives? Would it have really made a difference if the secret was revealed? It quite hard to answer that question in a definite ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but if we go by the history of human civilization I think it would not have made a difference. Equal number of people would have still died, either due to the fight between the Pegans and the Christians or by the anarchy that this might have caused. I believe it’s in the human nature to fight. It is this trait that was kept us this high in the evolutionary ladder.


So who do u think is justified? It is like a never ending riddle. Like an equation whose conclusions and assumption are the same. No amount of mathematical jugglery can either prove it or disprove it…….After all it’s just another Hollywood movie……or is it ?

Happy By Chance…!!!

The only fact to which both religion and science will concur is that fundamentally we are all the made of the same particles. To be more precise we are all made of nothingness. No wonder we all feel the void in our lives. Be that as it may, I have always wondered and am sure most of you must have also wondered about a very intriguing question. Who the hell are we? Why do we feel the way we feel? If all is the same then why is everything so different? Many a scholar would give an answer saying that it’s all about perspective. But I call that answer as their so called “intellectual escapism”. It’s not about perspective but it has more to do with chance than what we initially perceived.

There are more than a hundred thousand galaxies in this universe (if in fact this is a universe…..I do believe in the concept of multiverse). Each galaxy has billions of stars and each star may have billions of planets. To sum the whole up we can say the number of planets in this universe is itself ten to the power of hundred. Of all these planets, why did life choose to make its mark on Earth? (Let’s assume there is no extraterrestrial life…well till at least we have tangible evidence for the same). Scientist’s have a more philosophical answer to this and that is…..It was just a matter of chance. We are here because there were more that a hundred thousand coincidences that happened simultaneously. Might seem strange but it’s very true. Earth having the right temperature, the right distance from the sun, sun being the right kind of star, Jupiter being the big brother that it is are just a few of the examples. To sum it all up, we are here by chance.

Why do we feel the way we feel? Though our bodies are made of the same chemicals we have different thoughts. Though we live in various conditions we all have the same range of emotions. Every one seems to be so similar that they are totally different. Many people give the credit of this anomaly to the process we call ‘Evolution’. We are what we are because that’s how we evolved. And how did this evolution take place…..just by chance. Again the credit goes to a multitude of coincidences. This seems to be true even in the day to day scenario. A less talented or qualified person gets more recognition than a more deserving candidate just because he was at the right place at the right time. And how was he at the right place at the right time?....just by chance.

What makes people happy? Many (not all) would agree that money would makes one happy. Imagine if Robinson Crusoe would have been a happy man if had a hundred million dollars when we was stranded in an island for 20 yrs instead of a friend. I don’t think so. Money makes one happy only when it has the power to buy. So does power make one happy? Politicians are supposed to be the most powerful people around and the never seem to be happy. That’s why politics is always associated with the word ‘dirty’ and not with the word ‘happy’. So does sex make one happy? Hard to say, porn stars aren’t the happiest bunch around. Does knowledge makes one happy? Nerds aren’t the merry making type either. But yes, a right combination of all the above factors does help a person be happy. And how do those who are happy have this right combination of paraphernalia. ….yup u guessed it right….just by chance.

I do believe in one fact though. If one man can do it so can anyone else. So if you know someone who is really happy, be rest assured that you too can be the same…..its just a matter of chance……so don’t get into that shell of yours at the first sight of danger…..do what u must and leave the rest to Mr. chance and from what I shave seen, he can work miracles. So for once ……just be happy by chance…..

The One day Reporter.....

After seeing the movie “Page 3”, I always thought that crime reporting was a very interesting field, though I never imagined myself; being one of them. But I guess providence had better plans for me. I had gone to Delhi recently for giving a couple of interviews as well as meeting a couple of friends. One of my friends was (and is still) a crime reporter with a national daily there. I just wanted to have a casual meeting with her since I had not met her for a couple of years. Initially I thought we would meet over a cup of coffee and chat for a while and then go our separate ways. Fortunately for me, my interviews got over sooner than expected and so we decided to meet in the morning itself.

We were just getting along with a casual conversation when she had a call regarding a hit and run case. She, being a crime reporter had to leave and I not being one didn’t want her to go. She finally came up with the solution and invited me to come along with her for that day. I, on my part volunteered to be her driver. More importantly I did want to know what and how the crime reporting world works and why did she chose this field as her career.

Basically the day of the crime reporter starts with a phone call, either from the police control room or from a colleague who informs them about a fresh incident. Then comes the running around part where the reporter finds the crime scene, meets the affected and the not so affected people, takes the photographs and creates the draft for the story. This is if the reporter is having a good day. On a normal or a bad day there are multiple crimes at various locations. I believe a reporter uses the ‘traveling salesman algorithm’ in their lives more than anyone else. The have to go to different police stations, different villages and slums and that too all at peak traffic hours to meet all kinds of people right from the commissioner of police to the road side Romeo. Their desk day at the office starts after 7pm when they go to their office, consolidate their stories, prepare the reports and submit it to the editor. After all this running around they would be lucky if their story gets published and luckier if they get the byline (i.e., their name printed at the end of the story).

So we started my first and so far the only day as a crime reporter. I was initially a bit disappointed when we came to know that the hit and run story was not true. But we later came to realize that the location information supplied was incorrect. Just when we thought all was going well (at peak hours in Delhi traffic) we got a call regarding a custodial death of a caddie who was arrested for a chain-snatching incident.

Regular crime stories are not too hard as the cops provide most of the details to the reporters and the reporters just have to do the back-end and field research. A custodial death is a different ball game altogether. Here most often the cops are at fault and hence do not co-operate at all. Not only that they do not co-operate the also try to mislead the reporters.

So now we had two stories to cover, multiple police stations to barge in and out of and that too at different locations in Delhi. My day was getting better and better. The hit and run case was cake walk. We found the bus which was the culprit, the bike which was the victim and the story of their romance from the SHO (station head officer). With the love story securely stored in our cameras we headed for the more sensational of the two cases.


As mentioned earlier this being a custodial death case we were (actually she was) pretty sure the cops would not be of any assistance. We short-listed 3 different police stations from where we planned to drain out the information. I did not have any prior experience dealing with cops and that too when we were to interrogate them and not the vise versa. She decided to train me by showing how it is done in one of the stations. I was astonished to see how well behaved these cops act while dealing with reporters. I was introduced as the assistant reporter. The comfort with which the cops treated us really made me feel at home in a place, whose thought gives nightmares to people. I was introduced to a long list of officers and their subordinates. Some of them even claimed that they knew me and were aware that I had joined the news paper daily very recently, though in reality I haven’t been to Delhi in 15 years and was definitely not a reporter. All we could gather from the half hour discussion there was the name of a village.

We split up for the next round of enquiry as we had to cover 2 police stations and we did not have much time. I dropped her at the first and went on to the second one. Fortunately the SHO was on leave and the person in charge was a lady. I introduced myself as a reporter and as if out of instinct said “hello DiDi aap kaise ho”. As soon as she heard the word “didi” she felt very happy and started an animated but very casual conversation. I had to very careful here because if blew my cover I would be in really deep shit (phew..I feel like a spy already). To my surprise she did not get the slightest clue about me ( this I came to know much later through my friend). Anyways I had to really make up a lot of stuff but all I could find was a name. My friend on the other end had fared much better (of course.. she was a pro..) and she also found some details about this boy.

Our next destination was the village where this guy lived. I was dumb-struck to see that, this village (yup it was an old fashioned village) was located in the heart of the city. We found a couple of street rowdies (the self appointed bhai types..) whom we asked for directions. I was scared to talk to them initially. My friend passed a sarcastic comment that if we had to fight them, she would take on two of them and I just need to find my way through one. Going by her proportions, I knew she could take on two of them with easy. Anyways such a confrontation was not required because these guys fled as soon as used the word “police” while asking direction (..phew…).

Somehow we managed to locate this boy’s house. Almost the whole village was assembled there. We went and introduced ourselves ( actually she did…I was too confused to do anything). As soon as they heard who we were the mother of the boy thought I was the main reporter and she fell to my feet and started crying. I never felt so helpless in my entire life. I did not know what to say to this lady or to anyone assembled there who were staring at us as we were their only ray of hope. I felt ashamed of my helplessness. We asked them a few questions and got the picture of the boy. They all had the same story to tell that their kid was innocent and the cops should be punished and we should help them get justice. As the time we spent with those people grew longer the crowd started becoming hostile. The people started shouting slogans against the police. This was the time my friend told me that we should be leaving as we did not want to be the reason behind a riot.

Since we had both the stories now we went back to a coffee shop. The same shop from where my journey as a reporter began and ended. Though it was a big day for me, my part got over here. Now she had to go to office and convert the drafts to story.

I was to leave Delhi early morning the next day. I was sitting in my berth and reading the newspaper. To my pleasant surprise I found the news story printed in the 2nd page itself. Though my friend got the story printed she did not get the byline. As I was reading the story the scenes from what happened yesterday passed through my mind as a movie and then I thought of the movie ‘Page 3’ and knew how Konkana Sen would have felt on her first day as a crime reporter. All I could think of was that sometimes…..Sometimes Reel life and Real life are not that different………

A Matter of CHOICE ..

Do we actually have a choice? Is Choice a real concept or just the fabrication of one’s imagination? These are a couple of questions from the realm of pseudo science that physics very recently attempted to answer. Though the question might sound trivial but the quest for its answer led two of physics greatest theories namely Relativity and Quantum Mechanics lock horns against one another.

Let me cut down on the technical jargon and get to a more Lehman’s point of view. Suppose I give you two fruits. One Apple and One Orange and ask you to choose one of them. The question is not what you would choose here but rather of the existence of a choice. Do you in-fact have a choice? Common sense says that Of course you do have a choice and that’s how you choose. But this conclusion of your common sense would go against the greatest intellect to ever walk the world Sir Albert Einstien. According to him “God doesn’t play dice with the universe”. This means that every thing is governed by quantifiable laws and work according in accordance with it. If this were to be true then it would be theoretically possible to determine the outcome of your choice with accuracy and precision. So if one could already know what he is going to choose, then where is the choice?

Be that as it may, the argument of lack of choice also has its own set of opposition. This time it’s a group of scientist who came up with the theory of quantum mechanics. Well lets say the battle is between Einstien and Hawkins(yes Stephen Hawkins). Quantum mechanics introduces the concept of probability into the laws of physics. Hence now we have a situation that we have the probability of you choosing the apple and the probability of you choosing the orange but the actual choice still remains uncertain. This means you do have choice to make after all.

The logic behind Einstien’s argument is easy to understand but the conclusions that come out of it are quite contrary to our common sense, whereas the logic behind Hawkin’s argument is hard to understand but its conclusions agree with common sense.

Ironically now its matter or your choice to decide which of the two is to be accepted. Both the theories and their creators have withstood the test of time and criticism and both happen to be true. A paradox we might say.

In either case knowledge of existence (not necessarily the actual act) of choice is of prime importance. It has been proved that you can make a man choose what you want him to choose if he is aware of the choice only in his subconscious. For example you had the choice to either read this article or avoid it and I can now predict what you chose because you where aware of that choice only in your subconscious. So now do you think you could have done differently if you knew about this choice……I don’t think so……

In any case….Its just a matter of CHOICE….!!! Don’t u think….

LOVE.... can be quite a resignation

The end sometimes is necessary to bring in new beginings, and thus i am heading to the end of a two and a half year old affair. I did not believe in love at first sight, but believe you me that was what i felt when i first laid my eyes on her.She was beauty personified.I thought i would never see her again but fate had decided otherwise and exactly a year a later we met again.

I still remember the night when we confessed the love for one another. I felt as if the earth has moved from beneath my feet. I was floating.....yes i still do remember the night...it was dark, it was cold and it was raining.I was there with my friends (many of you infact) and the reason we were there was for her. That day was the begening of an affair that lasted a full three and a half years and ....those were the days my friend i thought they would never end.

It used to be letters.....that is how we started our communication. Distance was never a problem for me but the letters were not very frequent. Slowly we entered the world of chatting...and every thing changed....It was the fateful day of November 14 2005 that i had the chance to be one with her finally......

That day i had glitter in my eyes, aspiration in my heart ....and that was the most exciting day of my life till date.....the unision was not as i had expected....but that is what pleople say about love...its never as you expect it to be.....it took us a lot of time and equal lot of effort to get used to each other.....but with time things got better.....we got to go places together....there were days we used to be with one another for almost 24 hrs...though sometimes it seemed like only a sec....
She was an Indian, and is still, and i am quite sure would be for the rest of her life. My parents were proud of me....my friends were proud of me....my whole colony was proud of me for finding her....she was one in a million....yes she really was...!!!

Trouble started brewing in paradise in the March of 2006....we had been together in Hydrabad and now we had moved to Pune....though she was there a couple of years before me too....She introduced me to a friend of hers....the friend was an american.....she was young ....beautiful and charismatic.....initially i had a hard time adjusting with the friend...manly due to the lack of indianess in her....but something in me got acttracted to her like gravity.....firstly she was an american and secondly she was wild.....she was really really wild.....

Couple of months went by without much of a tusle but finally due to work related requiremnt i had to move out from her house and move in with her friend(the american;-)). We started seeing less of each other and the communication started going down.....i spent more and more time with the american.....there were times we neva bothered going home either....life with american was a totally new experience...she was naughty and unpedictable....but it only made the attraction stronger.....i still tried to keep in touch with my Indian better half but she refuted and made any of my efforts towards her futile....

That the American also was attracted to me was a thought i would never have dared to fanthom....but as funny as it may seem she happen to have developed a liking towards me.....there happened a huge fight between the two(my indian better half and her american friend)...and the reason was ofcourse me.....quite to my surprise...the indian won the fight...i was relieved....but then her attitude towards me changed.....both of us knew we were drifting and going down the drain.....and my attraction towards the american was gaining momentum as was hers(which i came to know later)...

So i finally decided to end my relationship which had made my life a rollercoster ride for the past couple of years.....i told this to my parents....initially they were apprehensive....but later they agreed to it..... And so i have finally decide to end my affair.....this is to say that i have resigned from my previous company(she does not like her name being published)...!!!!